Wednesday, June 08, 2005

i wrote this for my brother and then i sent it to the world

Upon waking up Karl felt a small discomfort on the inside of his thigh. Before getting up he decided to examine the cause of the sensation while on his back in bed. Throwing off his covers he exposed two tan, hairy, old legs. The legs had scars from childhood and college days and a long gash that was still slightly pink that he earned just six months ago pulling a piece of net from the ocean which broke and sent him hurtling back onto a broken bottle sticking straight up out of the sand. The discomfort he felt upon waking up revealed itself. It was a rather large pimple on the inside of his thigh just a few inches away from his testicles. He was about to shrug it off when he saw a small black spider crawling over the edge of his bed. Karl instantly guessed that he had been bitten by the spider. His mother had died of a spider bite to the lip and Karl was secretly arachnophobic ever sense. The spider sensed that it had been discovered and tried to make a break for it as fast as possible. but Karl in his furry grabbed one of the slippers at the foot of his bed and came down with all his fear and wrath upon the small black creatures cuticle. the spider let out a small squeek and passed the ghost from its body. Karl having done this deed regreted it instantly. First because the sheets were now smeared with a viscous green substance, second because he really hated killing, and thirdly because he did not really know if the spider was really the culprit. His panick had made him act but now he doubted his own intuition. Just then his wife came in with breakfast. It was Karls birthday and although she hated cooking she always made him breakfast in bed on his birthday. Karl had turned 65. Upon seeing his wife he moaned and fell back into bed feeling the burning from the spider bite. for it was indeed a spider bite my friends and by the end of the day Karl's thigh will have swollen to the size of a water melon. THe next day he will be paralyzed from the waist down. He will be taken to the hospital and given injections. His balls will be the size of large chicken eggs. when they bring him in his eyes will be full of tears from the pain and he will be mumbling some prayer directed to the virgin mary. although she will not hear him and he will know it. He will come home though and be taken care of by this wife and daughters who love him dearly. they will sing him songs and bring him jugs of wine. he will slowly convalesce. and a month after the bite he will walk again to pull nets from the sea.

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